Tuesday, October 14, 2008

My thoughts

I am on emotional over load right now. When I go to bed I am going to crash.

I had a doctors appointment today. My lung functions were better then when I went to B&W but I am not at my base line. Though that being said we are going to pull the Picc and let my body have some time to heal.

I talked about my lung evaluation at B&W and my Doctor was actually happy that I didn't feel good when I was there.

I talked to the Social worker about how I am dealing with the whole transplant thing and I think I shocked him. It took me a while to realize that I am at the point I am at with my health. Every day that passes that I need Oxygen or get short of breath just walking convinces me more that I need to get new lungs. Some days I feel like I am giving up but most days I feel like I am definitely doing the right thing.

Today, I got a call from my sister that I have been waiting for. She is in the middle of a custody battle with her ex-husband. The guardian finally wrote his report and suggested that primary residence should be with my sister. Yeah! The girls are going to be so happy! All I want is the best for those 2 girls. They mean the world to me. I love them like they were my own.

I had a great weekend. I got to surround myself with all my loved ones. Saturday, Andrea gave me 4 tickets to the Portland Pirates, which is the local NHL AA team. I was able to bring my 2 nieces, my sister and her boyfriend. Earlier in the day I went to the local farm with my nieces and my sister. We picked out pumpkins, went on a hay ride, drank spiced cider and the girls did a hay maze. Sunday I picked the girls up from my sister to bring them back to their dad's because I was going that way to go celebrate my mom's birthday with her. I got the idea to see if the girls could come with me. Their dad said yes so they spent the next 24 hours with me. I think my mom was happy to see them. Sunday night I went to my friend, Andrea's house and did fundraising stuff. My mom, my nieces, my friend tracy, her daughter and Andrea's 2 kids were all there. It was so great to spend time with all of them. Monday, I went to breakfast with my mom and Dad and them went and visited my Grandmother and Nana.

I am very tired but very happy!

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