Friday, February 6, 2009

Why?

It has been a while since I blogged but really need to write today. So a this post will be random and about things that are controlling my thoughts.

As many know, a fellow CFer is fighting for her life. She was in the process of being evaluated for double lung and liver transplant. I hope you all can take a minute of your day to say a prayer for Jenn and her family.

I have been very lucky that the current economy has not effected mine or my husband's jobs. I am definitely not taking this for granted. My parent live in a mill town and I fear for my dad's job everyday. The paper industry is taking a big hit and the mill my dad works for has been laying off a lot of people.

My sister, Melissa has been in a custody dispute with her ex-husband for over a year now. She has been trying to settle outside of court for the sake of the girls but her ex won't even talk with her about changes. So he is going to drag those poor girls into court and make them testify. That is just wrong and they don't deserve that.

I wish I was not adding extra stress on my friends and family with my health. During the past year, I have been preparing for a transplant. This is such an emotional roller coaster for everyone. Anytime I run a fever, my family gets concerned. I am not on the active call list yet because I am not 100% convinced that the time is now. I am going but my gut feeling which has never steered me wrong in the past.

I have this stupid eye twitch that I have had for almost 3 weeks. I am dragging myself to my PCP Monday to see if it is stress or eye strain.

Have I said how awesome my husband is lately. He knows that this time of year is rough for me. I get the winter blues and take it out on him. Earlier this week he brought me home roses. They are so beautiful. Then he wanted to surprise me so he bought me a birthday cake and a birthday gift. This sounds funny to most because my birthday was in December but we have always waited until his birthday, Feb 11th, to exchange gifts. Well, he already knows what I am giving him so he figured he would surprise me and give me my gift early. This is a very welcome surprise because he is always late on my gift. He knows I love gold and diamonds. He bought me a past, present and future diamond necklace. How fitting with everything we are going though. I truly love him.

I hope you enjoyed this look into my thoughts. Please tell everyone that you love how much they mean to you today!

4 comments:

Amy said...

(((HUGS)))

Piper said...

Steph, it sounds like you have just the sort of wonderful husband and family that you deserve. Seriously, where would be without those who love us?

I understand the stress, believe me, but I do think you are right to trust your instincts. I'm sure we'll talk more about it, but for what it's worth I think you're right on track. Thinking and questioning, but ultimately listening to YOUR body. It's such a delicate balance, and I totally admire your attitude.

Tina said...

Oh kudos to your husband! That was great, what a beautiful idea for the necklace, I'm sure it's lovely.
Take care of yourself and trust YOUR judgement. It's o.k. our instincts are there for a reason!
I'm thinking of you and rooting for you!

Diana said...

This blog was amazing. I know lately I have not been able to chat with you much because of my crazy life but you are in my thoughts all the time. Trust yourself Steph and trust your physicians!!! I love you more then you know.